Halloween 2007/"I'm Too Fat"

My mom found this fat suit at a store and bought it. I wore it to a costume party and won first place - $50!



I did a cameo appearance with it on TV on Halloween morning...



For Halloween night my mom dressed as a witch and we had a smoke/fog machine set up at the house along with some flashing lights and loud spooky sound effects playing. But none of that scared the kids. What scared them was me in my fat suit...



The neighbors across the street kicked our ass with their Halloween display. They were sneaky about it and didn't set it up until Halloween afternoon so we had no idea they were going to do any of this. I guess now we have a challenge for next year...

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A couple of days later my mom suggested that I use it for a video to my old song "I'm Too Fat"...

Another movie and another play

Not much detail here but several weeks ago I did a few scenes in the movie Bachelor No. 2 starring Dane Cook and Kate Hudson. In once scene I was walking by them in a park while they were jogging and in another I was walking down the street while Dane was talking with Jason Biggs.

This week I did a couple of plays. I had the lead role in an episode of The Saint and a co-lead role in an episode of Our Miss Brooks.

I witnessed a crash, went to a radio show, and hit Hooters 74

This one is about two months overdue. So much happened and it was a really great trip down to NY with my friends Rascal, James, Leadbelly, and PMS. On the way down we saw a roll-over accident on I-95 in CT. We didn't actually see it flip but I saw it as it was settling into the woods in a ditch on the left. Lots of dust and dirt blew all around. I had seen things like that before so I knew what was going on right away and started to think about pulling over. Some of my friends had been smoking so they were paranoid and didn't really want me to stop, however as we got closer and I saw how badly crushed the car was, not pulling over was simply not an option in my mind.

Rascal called 911. I pulled over a few hundred feet past the car in case it caught fire as well as to keep far enough away from police and emergency vehicles who would be coming to the scene. And I opened the windows and sunroof so my car could air out and hopefully ease the paranoia.

As Rascal and I walked to the car and we could see the amount of damage, I stopped for a second - I was afraid that we could see someone dead or decapitated stuck inside, and that was not a vision that I wanted to have for the weekend. But I think we smelled a faint odor of gas, so we would have had to check inside just in case someone one was in there. Luckily no one was. Leadbelly went out to the back of the car where the young female driver was crawling out of the wreckage. She was disoriented and clearly scared and in pain but she assured us that she was the only person in the car. By this point some other cars had pulled over as well and some of these people were just with this girl at work so they confirmed that she was alone.

Leadbelly deserves a gold star. He stayed with her, comforting her, holding her hand, and telling her not to worry. He touched her legs and her arms so she could know that she wasn't paralyzed or anything like that. We waited until all the emergency vehicles got on scene and then we took off for the rest of the trip.

I don't remember what time we made it to Shadow's house in Queens but it was sometime in the wee hours of the morning. White Castle was closed. So we hung out at his house and drank some Jagermeister and played Guitar Hero for a few hours. I talked with his dad who told me about meeting JFK once. I eventually went to sleep around 4:30 and was woken up around 7:30 to start the day.

We hit the road and met some people along the way enroute to the second annual FBA softball game in Hartsdale, NY. It was a very fun ride up whatever parkway - a food-fight erupted between people in my car and people in Shadow's car. It started quickly and I was driving so I wasn't seeing everything unfold but I think it started because PMS had the munchies. He was in Shadow's car but all the snacks and stuff were in my car. So Leadbelly threw a couple packs of Goldfish out of the window of my car and into Shadow's car. Great aim. One thing led to another and more food and bottles of water were thrown back and forth between the two moving cars driving alongside each other. There was so much stuff thrown around and it went on for several minutes. I am surprised that the people behind us didn't call the cops (or maybe they did?) because to outsiders I am sure that it looked like we were at war with each other.

I paid little attention to the actual softball games. I was there to socialize and see a bunch of friends whom had traveled from all over the country. The high-point for me was meeting Sam from the Than & Sam Show and the Opie & Anthony Show. I had invited him to come to the game and was very pleasantly surprised to see him show up. I think we talked for a few hours. I was loving it. This is a pic of me and Rascal and Sam and me:

After the game most people went to an area hotel and went out for dinner and drinks. But I went down to Manhattan with Ace to visit the Than & Sam radio show. Coming from a background in broadcasting and being a huge fan of theirs, this was by far one of the best parts of my entire summer this year. It was soooooo much fun for me! This is a video that Ace took of me on the show: http://youtube.com/watch?v=s5K-dznFZaQ

Afterwards we drove around the city a little and drove by the Statue of Liberty and then headed out to Wayne, NJ so I could go to my 74th different Hooters:



After that it was time to pick up the others guys and head home. An awesome weekend.

The Traveling Virus Tailgate Party at the Tweeter Center

I think it was a great turnout (a couple hundred people!) and lots of fun. I really enjoyed meeting people - I'm sorry that I didn't get to meet everyone but I tried.

I was VERY bummed out that the police confiscated my beer ball and shut down our contests after the Rock Scream competition, but it was still a fun time anyway. And thanks to Danny and Travis for judging the Rock Screams. :)

I should also thank Rascal for getting the RV and thank Shadow for helping me organize stuff.

Here is a video of Opie signing our banner, courtesy of Ace Danger. Sadly I wasn't there when he came by (I missed him at my own party!! DAMMIT!) because I got recruited to work inside the venue at a baseball tossing booth.

Opie visits Rascal's RV

Rush - Mansfield, MA 6/27/07

It was a relatively boring show. It started off strong with Limelight and then an older obscure song or two and Free Will several songs later. That was followed by some new songs that didn't really go over very well and a few more obscure things.

About an hour into the show was intermission, after intermission was five or six more brand new songs. Ugh. All slow or midtempo. A few of them kinda grooved but not many people seemed extremely interested.

Then came Subdivisions which got everyone screaming and jumping for joy...I think probably because it was the first familiar song in almost an hour. Then more slow songs. People started leaving.

My buddies wanted to leave so I went online and looked up some recent setlists to see what would be ahead: a drum solo, more new stuff, Tom Sawyer, and YYZ for the encore. But that was another forty-five minutes away and not really compelling enough to want to sit through the other shit in between so they left. I held out another ten minutes to confirm the setlist was similar to the ones I had looked up. I left around 10:20 during the drum solo. It just wasn't worth it. And it was a boring drum solo from what I saw and heard on the way out.

A total of nine new songs was a bit much. Especially so many of them all in a row. That was just stupid IMHO. If it wasn't for that I would have enjoyed it more. I would have also enjoyed stuff like Working Man and 2112 and Distant Early Warning.

Here is a tip for the band: when the drummer looks like he is so unhappy to be there, don't aim close-up cameras on him. As fans we like to think that our favorite bands are having some kind of fun up there on stage, we don't want to see the guys looking like they're ready to cry or bored with us or whatever his problem was. Just don't bother showing them at all if they're going to be like that.

Don't get me wrong, it wasn't all bad - the sound mix was pretty much perfect and I was very happy to see Geddy playing way more bass than keyboards as opposed to other times I've seen him play keys most of the show. There is never a substitute for him plucking the strings and rocking out. So at least I was happy about that.

RIP Hooters

Bankruptcy has claimed the life of all of the Hooters locations in Massachusetts and New Hampshire and Rhode Island. They were killed by some upstate NY locations that drowned the franchisee in debt.

I am extremely saddened by the news. The closest location to me is now 111 miles away from me in CT.

Another Movie, Airplanes, Another Play, Motorcycles, and a Helicopter

Three weeks ago I went to Providence ago for a scene in an upcoming movie called 27 Dresses. It stars Katherine Heigl from Grey's Anatomy and it should be out early next year. This is my fourth film in the post ten months and the second film in a row in which my car was used - my role in this is "Pedestrian With Car" which pretty much meant that I won't be seen at all because I drove around the block for about 3. 5 hours between a few other cars and several NYC taxis. At one point I wondered about those cabs - were they actually real NYC cabs or something created by the props department? If they were real cabs, how did they get up to Providence? Were they driven up separately or on a car carrier? I would think that a car carrier would have raised a few eyebrows along the way since it's not every day that you see a car carrier full of NYC taxis.

The Tuesday after that I went flying for the first time since November 2005. I flew down to the Cape and along the South Coast. I hope to get myself back into flying more often.


Last Wednesday I was in a play - an episode of "Duffy's Tavern". I was funny. This is our promo pic...

Last Saturday I went to Motorcycle Week in Laconia and saw some awesome bikes and rode in a helicopter around Weirs Beach. The first real standout was this Jägermeister bike. It has a Jägermeister machine on the back and Jägermeister stuff all over it. There were the typical assortments of Harley's and rice-rockets as well as a prototype of a bike that has a 10-cylinder Dodge Viper engine that supposedly get up to 400-something MPH! SICK! NO thanks! But this bike shaped like the back of a hot chick was cool:


Last Sunday I took my parents to the casino in RI for Father's Day. The slot machines were pretty stingy but my mom won $77 betting a simulcast horse race which almost didn't get bet because I had to use an electronic wagering system that I had never seen before with less than a minute to post time. I would have gotten so much shit if I blew the bet. We ate at the buffet which was plentiful and looked great, but aside from just a few items, pretty much everything was bland and almost tasteless. Even my parents felt the same way, and they never complain about eating in restaurants. But compared the full-service restaurants that had chicken wing appetizers for $11.50 and pasta with clam sauce for $21.50 and an Italian cold-cut sandwich for $11.50, the price was right I guess.

Yesterday started with a cooking contest at All Things Sicilian. After that I went to a ribfest in NH where I ate a few ribs and deep-fried Oreos, sampled some BBQ sauces, and saw an aerial stunt show. From there I went to a poker party. That was the second night in a row that I didn't get home until about four in the morning.

Today I am tired.

Hooters #73

In Manchester, CT I went to my 73rd Hooters location yesterday.

It was a spur of the moment idea while I was driving home from my cousin's graduation and commissioning at West Point.

My buddy Schnit lives in the area and came by to take this pic.

Now, keep in mind that I am not saying that that I've been to this Hooters location 73 times...no no no...I have been to 73 different Hooters locations at least one time each.

Here is a little background on some of my previous Hooters visits:

• 5 were in the Denver area in 2000
• 11 were in South Florida in 2001
• 7 were around the Houston area in a three-day trip in 2002
• My 45th was the Grand Opening of the Sugarland, TX location where I was first person served a beer on Opening Day
• I was at the Grand Opening of the Cape Cod Hooters in 2003
• 9 locations were during a four-day trip to southern California in 2003

While at Hooters in Daytona with my friend Chris in 1999, I saw a t-shirt: "Hooters World Tour". On the back it had a list of cities, just like a concert t-shirt would have. While looking at that list, I realized that I had been to a bunch of those locations already so I decided that I would embark on a world tour of my own.

In 2003 Hooters ran a contest where anyone who visited 20 different Hooters in one year would win a party for 20 people with 200 wings. They gave out little "passport" books that we had to have stamped at each of the different locations we went to.

Why have I done all this? Well, the last line of the menu at Hooters pretty much sums it all up: "Hooters makes you happy". :)

You can check out some other Hooters pics here.

The upcoming movie "21"

As I sit here writing this I am waiting for it to get dark so the movie shoot I am on can continue. I've been here seven hours (an hour away from overtime rate!) and I've worked about 90 minutes so far. The first 4.5 were really tough: snack-break followed by lunch. That was it. No work, just sit around and wait and eat (and get paid for it).

In the scene we did so far I walked past the main character over and over again. In the scene we are waiting to do I will be driving down the street in my truck. At least I will be warm and comfy.

Ooh, they just called me, gotta go...more later...

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I can't believe I went to Pink and Justin Timberlake...after drinking a .8 gallon beer

The show was amazing. Seriously. Pink was a definite crowd-pleaser and Justin worked hard for his money. He either strummed guitar or played organ or piano for about half the songs. For the other half he was non-stop dancing and working the crowd. I got tired just watching him.

His band was rocking: two guitar players, two drummers, two keyboard players, a shitload of hot dancers and singers. The guitars and drums gave many of the songs a harder edge. Like Sexy Back and Cry Me A River, they each had kind of crunchy guitar parts to make them kind of rock. I didn't even recognize a couple of songs at first.

Justin's set was over two hours (I think about 2:20-2:25) including about a 15 or 20 minute intermission while DJ/singer/producer-extraordinaire Timbaland did some stuff. The show didn't end until around 11:30 which is usually curfew-breaking and into O.T. for union stage crews around here.

All for only an $85 highest ticket price.

I am glad that I didn't see him last month in Boston because I would have been compelled to go see this show in Manchester, NH as well. It was that good.

I can't remember the last time I was hit on by so many girls. Not just the wise-asses saying things like "why are you at a concert like this? I bet you can't even name two of his songs" and the underaged "can you buy beer for me?" girls. I mean like real girls with no agenda. I was actually desirable for some reason. :D

Before the show Matty and I went to a tavern in Manchester and had this beer tower that is over 101 ounces!

Aerosmith at Mohegan Sun, 11/29/06

For a bunch of old guys, they get the job done and never fail to entertain. Tyler and Perry in particular are at the top of their game, singing and playing like kids half their age.

It was nice to see Tom Hamilton return for a bunch of songs. He looked a bit on the tired side and perhaps a little weak when he played with the rest of the band at the Tweeter Center in September, but he seemed so much better this time.

He first came out to play for a special version of "Back In The Saddle" which was being filmed for a NASCAR thing and then he came back out to play the last three songs, including "Sweet Emotion" and "Draw The Line", and the encore of "Walk This Way".

Speaking of "Back In The Saddle", the lyrics were altogether different for this NASCAR thing. Even though I could see enough of the TelePrompter, I still couldn't follow along with it because I had the real lyrics going through my head clashing with what Steven was singing. And I noticed that the TelePrompter was used a LOT less than I've seen it used in the past several years. In fact after that song, I only noticed it was on for just two or three more songs including their new song "Devil's Got A New Disguise" and "Livin' On The Edge". A stark contrast from many past tours when the Prompter was on almost the whole show. Maybe Steven's memory is getting better with age? Maybe I am the only person who pays attention to or cares about frivolous little things like this but they amuse me.

A couple of other little things that amused me were Joe Perry playing piano for a few bars during "Stop Messin' Around" and a verse of "Hangman Jury" thrown in before the beginning of "Seasons Of Whither" which surely must have pleased the person holding up a banner asking for that song.

The overall setlist of the past few tours has been leaning more towards older songs and this night was no exception despite having a few obligatory 90's hits to keep the kids happy.

Here are some pics from the show.

Oh yeah, and to make the night even better, I won $100 after the show. :)

The Game Plan

That's the name of a movie that should be out sometime in 2007. I worked on it one day last week at the football stadium in Foxboro.

The first scene I was in, The Rock walked right past me from behind, but I wasn't supposed to notice him so I couldn't turn to look. There were only 20 of us in that scene and that's probably the only part I was in that won't get cut - when my back is in the shot. Figures.

All of the other scenes I was in, I was in the first or second row in the stadium crowd, but those shots were all much bigger/wider/longer so even if they're not cut, I won't be seen. But whatever...I got paid anyway.

Old-Time Radio Players of Seabrook

This Wednesday I'll be in an episode of the old show "Suspense". Also showing is an episode of "My Favorite Husband".

Show times are at 3:30 and 6:30 in Seabrook.

"Twisted Struff"

Rascal Helper apparently "found" this pic of me someplace...funny, but I don't remember posing for it...

I've been a fugitive from justice

While at a funeral yesterday I noticed that my front license plate was missing. Later on at home we found the license plate's bolts in the driveway where I was parked the night before. So it was obvious that someone had stolen my plate and it didn't just fall off by itself.

I called the local police and asked if it was anything to worry about and they told me to go downtown to file a police report. After filling out the report, the officer said I should go to the RMV for new license plates since my remaining plate was being invalidated.

I knew I would have to return the remaining plate so I took it off while in the parking lot of the RMV. I figured with my luck, I'd get a ticket while I was inside. Now in retrospect, I WISH it was something that simple!

So I went inside the RMV with the police report and my registration and remaining plate. Seemed like a simple enough task so far. That was until the woman behind the counter told me that she couldn't give me new license plates because I owed Excise Tax. Dumbfounded, I asked her to repeat herself. Several times. At one point I blurted out loudly, "I NEVER PAY EXCISE TAX". Which, realizing that could be a damaging statement, I quickly corrected to "I mean, it's a Lease vehicle and all taxes are paid for out of my monthly payment". But she printed something showing me that taxes haven't been paid for two years.

So I was in a pickle at that point. I couldn't just leave and put my old license plate back on because it wasn't any good anymore. But I couldn't get a new set of plates because of the unpaid taxes. We didn't know how much was overdue because the RMV's system doesn't say. But she suggested I pay the taxes for now and get reimbursed by the Leasing company later.

That sounded like a good plan so I went to the Tax Collector office. I had my checkbook out and ready to go. The Tax Collector handed me a paper with my overdue balance: $989! I about hit the floor. No way I was paying that.

I left, stunned and speechless, and went to the car dealer. Thankfully they love me there and the Sales Manager knows me by sight. He looked up my Lease Agreement and confirmed that I am indeed paying taxes in my monthly payment.

I went home and called the Leasing company. After arguing with a few people who were trying to point fingers at me, the RMV, and the Tax Collector, they finally conceded that they haven't been paying my taxes after all.

So this means that I have been driving my car illegally since 2005. If anything bad had happened, or even if I was stopped for something, I would have been screwed.

They said that if I had the Tax Collector send them a bill right away, they'll look into it and send payment if necessary. Thing is, how am I supposed to drive while all of this is going on?

I called the guy at the car dealership, who, out of the goodness of his heart and all of the business I've done with them for more than ten years, set me up with a rental car for the next few days. He didn't have to do that because it's not his fault at all but he felt badly.

It wasn't my fault the license plate was stolen but yet I'm still feeling like a bad guy anyway. I went out of my way to go to the Police Station and the RMV only to be told that *I* am a criminal!

So now we wait and see how long until payment gets processed and I can get back in my own vehicle.

Hooters #71 and #72

My 71st Hooters - Hackensack, NJ:

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My 72nd Hooters - Paramus, NJ:

You can read more about my other Hooters trips here.

Fractured ankle

Check out the swelling...it's like half a baseball on the side of my foot -- and this was after icing it for a couple hours to get the swelling down enough to pull my sock off over it...

Wayne Newton, Underdog, IHOP, and Mousetraps

Last week started off badly when I blew a hose in my JetSki after riding for only a few minutes. But it quickly turned around by Sunday afternoon.

When I got home from the river, my mom called to have me meet her and my cousins out for drinks. The place we went, Sal's, has a really nice deck along the river and it was a perfect day for something like that. After having a few cocktails we decided that we'd get tickets to a show that Wayne Newton would be playing there the following night there. I had heard him on the Opie & Anthony radio show a few days earlier and had been thinking about going to the show anyway. After all, he is a living legend and how many times in life does someone like him play practically in your backyard? I am glad that we did because it was truly one of the best shows you can ever expect to see. He kept the crowd excited and everyone knew every song. Read this review and this review and if you can deal with the crummy quality you can see a short video clip.

Thursday after work I went to Providence to be an extra for the upcoming Underdog movie. This particular scene will be used in the trailers for the movie but I was way in the back in a crowd scene of 75 people so I am not expecting to be seen at all. But it was still a fun thing to do (despite wearing long pants outside in 95 degree weather) and I am getting paid for it so that's not a bad thing.

Friday morning I went to WBCN for the Opie & Anthony radio show. I was supposed to meet some friends there much earlier than what I did but I was tired from the long day before so I slept longer than I should have. And then with my luck I got stuck behind a frigging garbage truck in Cambridge -- blocking all lanes while it emptied out a triple-decker. Assholes. But despite all that, I still caught up with them and a huge group of fans while they were walking to an IHOP where they bought everyone breakfast and broadcast live on WBCN and XM satellite radio. There are a couple of pics of me in the crowd here and here. And then after the festivities were done I got caught in a massive rainstorm while walking back to my car -- I got so soaked that I had to go out and buy some clothes so I could go to work.

Saturday I went to Hampton Beach to see Colin Mochrie and Brad Sherwood from the TV show Whose Line Is It Anyway. This was my fifth time seeing them and they never disappoint. I especially like when they do a thing with mousetraps -- they are blindfolded and barefoot and walk around 100 mousetraps. Check out some video clips...

I still have to get my JetSki fixed.

Bill Burr -- 7/14/06

A regular on the Opie & Anthony show and seen on the Chappelle Show, Letterman, and HBO.

Extreme reunion in Boston -- 6/30/06

I saw the old Boston band Extreme last night.

It was ok...JUST ok. They played for close to 2.5 hours and didn't finish until 11:30 but I was bored for about a total of an hour. For most of the show, literally every other song was something I didn't want to hear. I would have preferred more "fun" stuff from their first two albums rather than the slow-trudging filler material they had on their lesser popular later albums. And I don't think I was all alone with that feeling.

For example their song "Tragic Comic". I don't think many people wanted to hear that song 14 years ago -- which is around the time when a lot of us stopped buying their albums -- and last night it certainly appeared that the audience wasn't interested it in hearing it too much now because out of the whole crowd, I could count the number of people dancing/grooving/getting into it on my fingers. And quite a few people sat down during such songs. A stark contrast to songs like "Little Girls" from their first album, where everyone was up and dancing and singing along, but yet they only did this song as part of a medley of other stuff from that first album. HUGE mistake in my opinion. They should have done these older more beloved songs in their entirety and pulled the filler songs out of the setlist.

However this medley sort of salvaged the night because they did it towards the end so anyone who was feeling sleepy during those sit-down songs became wide awake and ready to rock.

For the encore, Paul Geary came out from behind the drums to tell us how as a kid he used to look at a poster that he had hanging on his wall, wishing and hoping that some day he'd be as sucessful as that band and that they were his "heroes" at which point Nuno ran up to the mic and said "they were MY heroes, too". This brought out three members of the orginal band Boston -- Brad Delp, Barry Goodreau, and Fran Sheehan. They played Boston's "Rock And Roll Band" and Led Zep's "Rock And Roll". I love Brad Delp -- one of the coolest guys I've ever met -- but he didn't sound so great for the first song; a little rusty and straining to hit those highs at first, but he pulled it out by the end and then he hit every high note in the Zep song, singing in an octave that Robert Plant can't get to anymore.

These songs were the only time that Nuno wasn't playing his ass off -- he relaxed a little to let Barry Goodreau show off. The rest of the night, Nuno kicked ass. He is a solid non-stop rhythm guitar player and a smokin' lead guitar player all at the same time. Not to mention that he is the only member of the band who still looks and acts like a rock star, but not in an egotitistcal way. I mean, he has long 1976-Joe-Perry-blond-patch hair and wears black and silver nail polish. The other guys, well, they look like they just came from their day-jobs and I wouldn't have recognized any of them if they walked past me on the street. I've seen pics of Pat with short hair before but I don't think I have even seen Paul completely clean-shaven...I did't even think it was him at first. And Gary...OMG...WTF happened to him?!?!?!?!?! He had more wrinkles than Mick Jagger and looked like someone gave him a black eye! Seriosuly! Like, maybe he walked into a mic...or maybe he got into a fist-fight with someone before the show...whatever it was, he looked REALLLLLLLLY bad!!

Mike Mangini came out and drummed for two songs. Gary and Pat and Nuno were trying to be funny by saying stuff like "Paul wants to take a break" and "Paul has to take a call from Sully" and "does anyone in the audience know how to play drums?". Kind of lame but when Mike did come out, I would say that he did a better job than Paul. He had more feeling and was more heavy and powerful. But, I can't drum for shit so who am I to talk.

Oh yeah, and Charlie Farren was the opener...wow...if someone offered me a million bucks if I could pick him out of a crowd, there is no way I would be able to...no longer the tall skinny guy I met way back in the day. His voice still sounds good however he was just doing the solo-acoustic thing which didn't seem to interest people too much. I would say there was no more than a few hundred people in the seating area for his set.

It filled up a lot more for Extreme but there were still lots of empty seats. In my row alone, I think there were 13 or 14 seats all together, but there was only seven of us in the entire row.